We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
