Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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