69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My breasts were aching with rage.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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