wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
