I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
