No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
