you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
