found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I need a burrito and a hug.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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