im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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