I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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