yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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