Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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