Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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