just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
