In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
