i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
