I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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