Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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