I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
