im six kinds of drunk right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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