Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
