spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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