you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
