dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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