playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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