either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
