Have you finally orgasmed yet?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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