Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
