I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
