the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
