Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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