I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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