Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
