Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
