you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
