I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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