my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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