Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
