Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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