try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
