After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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