my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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