Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
