who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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