I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
