I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
