i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
