and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
