Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
