I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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