someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
