Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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