i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
