this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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