totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
