it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sext me about skeletons
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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