About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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