new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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