peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
