Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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