love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
