Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
